Oh, just a little light internal bleeding

Funny how you can go to the doctor for a simple consultation about what the fuck to do now that your 4th round of IVF failed, and end up in stirrups for an impromptu transvaginal sonogram. All because you casually mentioned that for several days prior to your pregnancy test you’d been having sharp, stabbing pains near both ovaries.

“Let’s take a look,” the doctor said calmly, clearly not thrilled that I’d kept this information to myself.

I mean in my defense I did Google it, and was informed that I was either a) pregnant and suffering very early round ligament pain, b) pregnant and suffering very late implantation pain, or c) dying from a cancerous tumor. Can you guess which two out of three options I decided to go with?

Turns out it wasn’t pregnancy or cancer but a ruptured cyst that had caused internal bleeding – though apparently it was now on the mend.

“So I guess the moral of the story is that if I feel sharp, stabbing sensations I should call the doctor,” I said jokingly.

My doctor leveled me with her gaze. “You were very brave. And very lucky.”

Brave? The thing is, I wasn’t even trying to be brave! I just honestly have no perspective on what normal bodily sensations are anymore. And lucky? Sure, I’ll take lucky, but can it please come in the form of actually getting pregnant and not surviving my internally bleeding cyst?




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